Was My Time As a Barista a Waste?
I worked my final shift at Brown Mustache Coffee last Saturday. Here are my thoughts.
Hello my dear reader,
It’s me again. Randomly sliding into your inbox with a rather big update. If you’ve been around here for awhile, you know I’ve worked part time at a local coffee shop on the weekends for the past year. As my counselor puts it, it was another of my creative, courageous decisions. One of my finest in my humble opinion. Certainly not a waste even though this living dream was short lived.
As it happens, our buckets can only hold so many things—good or bad, unwise or worthwhile.The question I had to answer recently is how many good things can I hold and still show up appropriately for my people. Clear calling. Given by God. Namely my husband, my kids…and yes, even myself.
I also have chosen to include my niece and nephew in this quirky tribe, tutoring them along with my own home-schooled bunch through the end of the school year. And if I have to choose between this very good endeavor and my coffee dreams, well, I choose them. Now, they are the not reason I left. But this is not the palace to go into all the factors leading up to this decision. Suffice it to say, it’s become more and more clear that I need tunnel-vision focus on my marriage, family, and home right now. And maybe I needed it a year ago but couldn’t see it. But I see it now. And I’ve done the hard thing of say no to what has only been an awesome opportunity.
I shared with friends that leaving the coffee shop tempts me to think the last year was a waste. But that’s such a Laura-focused perspective. Was it a waste for my children who enjoyed seeing me behind the bar and lived to help me out whenever they could? Was it waste for the relationships gained, for the customers with whom I exchanged encouragement, advice and even prayer? Was it a waste to develop a stronger work ethic that has woven itself into how I honor my own space and loved ones?
I can’t tell you how much my closing shift impacted me. Especially in those first few months when it took forever to finish all the tasks and see myself out. A friend reminded me of this today. What I gained from setting the bar up for the barista who would open the shop the next day. Cleaning. Restocking. Refilling syrup bottles. Setting out new towels. Sweeping. Mopping. Wiping down the bathroom one more time. Taking out all the trash. So the next person can come in and enjoy the neat space and get right to dialing in the espresso machine and brewing the first batch of fresh ground beans.
At home, it’s too easy to be led by exhaustion. Get a load going in the dishwasher and leave the rest for tomorrow, which spills into the next day and then the next day. Crumbs remain under the table, hidden by toys and someone’s blankie. Counters half wiped. The kitchen looks better than it did two days ago and somehow that’s good enough. So the next morning I wake up to a kitchen that is as much ready for the day as I am. The kids need eggs, and I need to clean the pan first.
Tiredness can’t lead how you work behind the coffee bar. The shop must close properly no matter how sleepy you feel, no matter how much your back aches.
In leaving the kitchen the way I often do, I don’t love myself or others well. And I don’t honor the space I say I cherish—the house we purchased less than a year ago. Another dream realized.
I am a home-school mother of four. And technically I teach five these days. Adam continually reminds me that keeping house is not my priority during my work days. So I don’t write this to shame myself for my limitations. However, I don’t want to forget what I learned at Brown Mustache Coffee, particularly from my manager Madison. I want to carry those lessons with me, knit them into the fabric of our home culture. I’m always reaching for better, committed to the idea there’s always more to learn, more areas for growth, more ways to lean into Yah’s blessed command to love as I’ve been loved.
So, no, this past year was not a waste. It was fun. It was stretching. Memorable. Though-provoking. Spiritually catalyzing. And I trust Yah will use it to make me a better mom, wife, teacher, friend, sister—person. And for that reason alone, I am eternally grateful to Brown Mustache Coffee.
Thanks for sharing! I’m finding my way as a new homemaker. This post was encouraging and helped me see some things in a different way!
Amen, Laura! Well said. <3